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Happy April 1st! This post is part of April Cools Club: an April 1st effort to publish genuine essays on unexpected topics. Please enjoy these true stories, and rest assured that the tech content will be back soon!

The mouse started moving. Not the one on the desk, the pointer on the screen! First to the left, then down to the bottom corner.

*Click!* The Windows Start menu came up.

"cmd" wrote a silent hand on an invisible keyboard. It downloaded a file from a random-looking URL, then executed it.

*Pop* went both the computer and the illusion of security.

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